Album Title Speech

Here’s a game to play with a friend or unsuspecting co-worker. The way it works is you pick someone and ONLY communicate with them using album titles from bands or artists. Its real fun when you talk with someone who knows its going on and can play back.

But I tried it today with my son, Jake, and he had no idea what was happening… he is in kindergarten. Here’s how our convo went this morning:

Jake: “What can we have for breakfast? I’m hungry.”

Me: “Chocolate Starfish and Hot Dog Flavored Water” (Limp Bizkit)

Jake: “What? That’s gross.”

Me: “Well, Times They are a Changin’” (Bob Dylan)

Jake: “Gees, dad, can’t we just have some cereal?”

Me: “Definately, Maybe.” (Oasis)

Jake: “Ok, I’ll just get some Fruity Pebbles”

Me: “If You’re Feeling Sinister” (Belle and Sebastian)

Jake (after getting cereal down): “Can you pour my milk so I don’t spill?”

Me: “All it Takes is a Little Confidence” (Carrots)

Jake (now realizing I’m playing a game and didn’t invite him): “What are you doing?! Stop saying those things! Please!”

Me (seeing my 5 year-old’s frustrations, put my arm around him): “The Earth is Not a Cold, Dead Place.” (Explosions in the Sky)

Jake: “Nevermind!” (Nirvana)

Donald Miller’s DNC Prayer

Here it is…

“Father God,

This week, as the world looks on, help the leaders in this room create a civil dialogue about our future.

We need you, God, as individuals and also as a nation.

We need you to protect us from our enemies, but also from ourselves, because we are easily tempted toward apathy.

Give us a passion to advance opportunities for the least of these, for widows and orphans, for single moms and children whose fathers have left.

Give us the eyes to see them, and the ears to hear them, and hands willing to serve them.

Help us serve people, not just causes. And stand up to specific injustices rather than vague notions.

Give those in this room who have power, along with those who will meet next week, the courage to work together to finally provide health care to those who don’t have any, and a living wage so families can thrive rather than struggle.

Help us figure out how to pay teachers what they deserve and give children an equal opportunity to get a college education.

Help us figure out the balance between economic opportunity and corporate gluttony.

We have tried to solve these problems ourselves but they are still there. We need your help.

Father, will you restore our moral standing in the world.

A lot of people don’t like us but that’s because they don’t know the heart of the average American.

Will you give us favor and forgiveness, along with our allies around the world.

Help us be an example of humility and strength once again.

Lastly, father, unify us.

Even in our diversity help us see how much we have in common.

And unify us not just in our ideas and in our sentiments—but in our actions, as we look around and figure out something we can do to help create an America even greater than the one we have come to cherish.

God we know that you are good.

Thank you for blessing us in so many ways as Americans.

I make these requests in the name of your son, Jesus, who gave his own life against the forces of injustice.

Let Him be our example.

Amen.”

HT to Wurzell.

Worth Repeating

I was perusing old messages from my church and came across this nugget from lead pastor/rock-star Mark Connelly that really stuck with me:

There’s this myth floating around in Christianland about what spiritual maturity is. Some people seem to think ‘really being fed’ is about someone rooting out the most obscure observations from the bible. They think that’s what mature believers do, they master the obscurities. I don’t see Jesus teaching that way. Jesus was the master of taking the complex and making it simple.

You listen to the message HERE.

Definition of Terms

I am most for my use of the word, “Republichristian.” If you frequent my blog, you have either laughed at or been offended by this word in the past… or at least you’ve noticed it. Necessity was the mother of its invention because there was a time when I would go off on long rants about politics and faith and the state of American Christianity and I needed a single word I could define a large group of people with.

I used to be a Republichristian and at times, I still catch myself thinking like one. To be a Republichristian is a dangerous thing for person of Christian faith as it is easy to miss the real teachings and words of Jesus when one is so greatly influenced by politics. As of late, I have been asked to define it, so here it goes.

Repulichristian (re-pub-li-christ-ian) [ri-puhb-li-krist-shun]
-noun
1. a person who unknowingly confuses or replaces their political ideology with their Christian faith
2. one who thinks God and Jesus are Republicans and are pulling strings for the party and America behind the scenes
3. (s) a group of people who have hijacked the face of Christianity in America and use it for political gain
4. (s) people who think spiritual maturity and depth are defined by political conviction
5. (s) a sect of Christianity in America

-adverb
1. in a way that places Conservatism over the teachings of Christ
2. not much thought

[Origin: 2006 AD, Greek-English]

Just to clear up, you are NOT a Republichristian just because you are a Christian who happens to be a Republican, this is a completely different class of people. Usually when I use this word, it is in a macro sense, I am talking about a larger group mindset and not an individual. If you suspect you might be one but are unsure, just ask me and we can work it out.

Regardless, I need to tone down my blog and not make it so serious so I might not be using this word too often, we’ll see.

Happiness is…

What if…

…you were FORCED to choose a book of the Bible to be removed from the Holy Canon, which one would you pick and why?

My answer: Revelation.

I love Revelation for its imagery and overall message of Christ’s eternal reign. But unfortunately, it is easily the most misunderstood book in the Bible.

Thats my vote, whats yours?

40 days of McCain and Obama

I haven’t watched it yet, but if you did, what were your impressions of the McCain and Obama “forum” at Saddleback with Superpastor, Rick Warren?

No human is “illegal”

… because God says we are created in His image, and the Declaration of Independence says that all men are created equal. So then why, in this “God-fearing” nation is THIS allowed to happen?

As Christians, why is it so easy for us to ignore volumes of Scripture about caring for aliens?

As Christians, why do we selectively choose which US laws are okay for us to break and which ones aren’t?

Need your help

I like it. My wife is threatening to “gain 500 pounds, wear hot pink lipstick, and never kiss you again” if I don’t shave it. What do you think?

‘Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy

Have you seen this book? It is a listing of famous music lyrics and their often misinterpreted counterparts. For example, Jimi Hendrix’s Purple Haze which says “…’scuse me, while I kiss the sky” has been known to cause confusion about the legendary guitar player’s sexual orientation and/or drug quality (see post title). One of my favorites is Ticket to Ride by the Beatles… I have often misheard the chorus as “…she’s got a chicken to ride” without ever really thinking about it.

HERE is an online database of often misheard lyrics. They even have a widget:

Which ones are your favorite?

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